Chair-baby Shower FAQs


Not really my baby.


Q: Will you have beer there?
A: Of course, fool. And maybe some psychotropic drugs, if you open enough medicine cabinets. It’s my brother-in-law’s house, so no big deal.
Q: What are some of the planned games or activities?
A: Systemic operational design, seminar discussions about the capture of El Chapo, the racist Academy Awards, and the composition of a Trump Administration national security team. And of course, melting candy bars into diapers and tasting them.
Q: Are you guys “listed” somewhere?
A: We bought a new bunker, so I’m in the market for safe rooms, punji-stick traps, water purifiers, and 5.56mm. She would like a nice stroller.
Q: Do you have preferences for books?
A: The Soldier’s Load and Mobility of a Nation, Mao’s Little Red Book, and Good Night Moon.
Q: If I can’t attend in person, will you stream it live?
A: Of course. You can find the link here (start it at 4:22):

About Chairman Mao

I like fomenting socialist revolutions and purging my homeland of pseudo-intellectualism and capitalist dogma. I also like sports, dogs and food (although I wouldn't consider myself a foodie).
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