With the responsible one in the family in the American heartland, Truman and I have been left on our own to celebrate Independence Day. After a few beers, we came up with a few good ideas. Betcha can’t guess which one of us came up with these:
– Watch Rocky Balboa win the Cold War in “Rocky IV.”
– Take a dump at the Arlington County Revenue Commissioner’s office.
– Watch Sly Stallone and Pele lead a rag-tag multinational team of World War II POWs to a stunning tie with the Aryan National Soccer Team in “Victory.”
– Howl at the mailman.
– Howl at strippers.
– Strip for the mailman.
– Deliver mail to strippers.
Enough! Enjoy your burgers and beers, comrades, and don’t forget to toast our warriors who remain downrange in Iraq, Afghanistan and too many other places to count.
To celebrate America’s 238th birthday, Truman picked a song from a U.K. rock band. Truman wasn’t trying to be ironic or off-beat; he simply has a tiny brain and doesn’t think.