Truman’s Hump Day Song of the Week: I Wanna Sex You Up


Last night, a scruffy mutt with a pumpkin-sized head walked up to Truman and without preamble buried his massive snout into my little dog’s undercarriage. I could’ve sworn Truman smiled at me as Scruffy went to town.

The big dog’s owner profusely apologized. “That’s so gross!” she exclaimed.

I shrugged and didn’t quite understand the source of her embarrassment.  They’re dogs, they sniff each other’s butts and balls (or where their balls used to be) to say hi, and hump at every opportunity. It’s sad that yuppie society has extended today’s ridiculous political correctness to canines.

In the spirit of making love and not war, here’s “I Wanna Sex You Up” courtesy of Color Me Badd, which ushered in the ’90s with purple sport coats and ridiculous mustaches. The first time I saw this video on MTV, I thought it was a compilation of “in-between scenes” of a porno.


About Chairman Mao

I like fomenting socialist revolutions and purging my homeland of pseudo-intellectualism and capitalist dogma. I also like sports, dogs and food (although I wouldn't consider myself a foodie).
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