Sweetpea Hate Jacoby


This had to hurt: Jacoby Jones, the Baltimore Ravens wide receiver and perennial fantasy football dud, is recovering after allegedly getting hit over the head with a champagne bottle by a stripper named “Sweet Pea,” according to TMZ. The attack occurred around 3 a.m. Monday in Washington, D.C., while Jones was on a party bus celebrating the birthday of teammate Bryant McKinnie. (Editor’s Note: My 40th birfday is just around the corner. Just sayin’…)

The weapon of opportunity was allegedly a massive Ace of Spades champagne bottle, the likes of which are enjoyed by rappers, professional athletes and Paul Bunyan.

Jones, who sprained his MCL during the Ravens’ season opener against the Broncos, was not hospitalized. And naturally, no one pressed charges. As Major Pain might say, everybody hates a snitch.


About Chairman Mao

I like fomenting socialist revolutions and purging my homeland of pseudo-intellectualism and capitalist dogma. I also like sports, dogs and food (although I wouldn't consider myself a foodie).
This entry was posted in Culture, Life in D.C., Sports and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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