U-S-A! U-S-A!

Just a few random thoughts as I watch USA vs. Spain in the men’s gold medal game. No spoilers here…

  • Jump shots are falling like rain. The prettiest have a wicked backspin that hangs for a split-second inside the net after going through the iron hoop, then snaps it as it falls through. Kevin Durant, Kobe Bryant and Carmelo Anthony all did this with jump shots in the first quarter. Team USA version 2012 has a distinct advantage in this area over Dream Team 1992.
  • The Gasol brothers, Pau and Marc, look like cast members from the Vin Diesel vehicle “XXX,” a movie that did everything it could to depict the (accurate) archetype of Central European guys as greasy, long-haired anarchists. Long-haired Euros make me laugh.

  • Quick update via Facebook: Vin was at the game with Ludacris. Classic!

  • The back of Pau’s jersey is stenciled with his last name, Gasol. The back of Marc’s reads “Marc.” WTF? Did they run out of ink?
  • Early in the first quarter, Kobe nailed a fall-away three from the corner with Pau lunging at him. In typical Kobe fashion, there were no smiles or fun words exchanged. All business, even they’ve been purple and gold brothers forever. In typical Pau fashion, the Spaniard ran back up court, expressionless.
  • The Spaniards not named Gasol remind me of good pickup playground players. Back at my old high school playground courts, one of the most colorful players was Manny, a Chevron gas station attendant who would squeeze in a game after work while still wearing his grease-stained uniform. The guy was shaped like a Bonsu ball and could bank a shot in from practically any angle.
  • Craig Sager is wearing a navy blue polo shirt. I miss his NBA outfits.

  • The evil Mike Krzyzewski is enjoying basketball’s version of The Picture of Dorian Gray. He’s been reaping eternal success as a coach after making a deal with the devil, but I suspect a picture showing his true ugly, rotting soul is stored somewhere in his attic, covered by a Bobby Hurley jersey.
  • Has Jim Boeheim been lobotomized? Why does he look so stupid on the sideline? Why is he an assistant for Team USA? There are a handful of people who have a handle on what’s going on during the game and Boeheim is not one of them. Do me a favor and observe his demeanor during Syracuse games during the upcoming season. Always flummoxed, always clueless. How did he catch such a hot wife?

Boeheim bucks convention by being a successful coach and finding a hot wife.


About Chairman Mao

I like fomenting socialist revolutions and purging my homeland of pseudo-intellectualism and capitalist dogma. I also like sports, dogs and food (although I wouldn't consider myself a foodie).
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