A Message from the Ombudsman: Choke Yourself

Legitimate media outlets typically have an ombudsman who receives suggestions and other feedback – mostly complaints – about the stories they have published or aired. This corner of the Web is hardly legitimate, but in the spirit of the Great Leap Forward, I have allowed the proletariat to provide me feedback about this blog’s stories without fear of death or persecution. To wit:

  • In the story I wrote about Garrett Anderson, I described his father Dennis Anderson as being “chubby.” Dennis recently wrote to compliment the story but added: “Stocky and barrel-chested but hopefully not chubby.” Oy-y-y, Dennis is right – you be the judge. (Editor’s note:  Dennis looks a little like G. Gordon Liddy in that video). There is chubby and there is barrel-chested. Unlike The New York Times and Washington Post, we believe in accountability here. I will kowtow to a picture of Chairman Mao, lean forward and choke myself:

  • A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a mild critique of the Army’s “Twilight Tattoo” show that some said was unfair during the week of the Army’s 237th birthday. Perhaps … perhaps. In hindsight, I was right and my critics were wrong. If a bunch of old folks from a local convalescent home wearing Depends can hold it together for an hour inside a hot, stuffy gym, a band geek carrying nothing heavier than a flute should be able to stand in formation for 15 minutes without collapsing like a house of cards. But I am merciful, so here is an example of a beautifully choreographed Army show, filmed a couple of years ago at a patrol base in Afghanistan:

Finally, a few readers said I hogged the conversation in my one-on-one conversation with Truman about sequestration and defense spending. This was in retaliation for him making me watch “Two Girls One Cup.”

Come now, I wasn’t going to post that here.  We have standards.  For believing I would post that on my sacred blog, it’s time for you to choke yourself:


About Chairman Mao

I like fomenting socialist revolutions and purging my homeland of pseudo-intellectualism and capitalist dogma. I also like sports, dogs and food (although I wouldn't consider myself a foodie).
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One Response to A Message from the Ombudsman: Choke Yourself

  1. Christopher Hoven says:

    Excellent. However, I don’t give “feedback” as that is static. I will give comments, suggestions and remarks and leave the “feedback” to microphones, etc. btw, love that scene from Full Metal Jacket.

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